Answers to your Questions

I will do my best to answer your questions but please remember this is just my experience and my opinion from my experience.


With regards to the medication and your mother; medication does not make somebody who they are, at all. I have been medicated for anxiety and depression for almost 14 years now. My beliefs, my morals, the way I treat people, my passions, my athletic ability, etc....they all still exists and are very much who I am. The medication does not change who I am at all. What it does is help to control the symptoms of an illness. Depression and anxiety are not who I am either, but both cause symptoms that are difficult to deal with. The medication simply deals with those symptoms and helps me to not be debilitated by an illness. If your Mother were to stop taking her meds, she may find she is ok. Some people are able to use meds to get things under control, and come off them and live successfully without relapse of full blown symptoms. Others, like me and maybe your mother, need the medication to keep the chemical balance in our brains level so that we don't face the symptoms so heavily. I wouldn't look at it as her meds make her the person she is, but instead, the meds allow her to be the person she really is.


Now as for the hereditary possibilities of facing mental health issues yourself; There are ties to genetics and mental health, similar to a lot of illnesses. It is possible that this is something that may effect you in your life, it is also possible it may not. There are many factors that can lend to Mental Illness and many of which you can't control. It's not a choice to be sick or not. I can say with honesty I don't know what "caused" this for me. There is Mental Illness in my family, I have had pressures and stresses in my life that some may consider extreme, I could come up with a thousand possible "triggers" or "whys" but none of them matter and I couldn't have avoided any of them. What I suggest is first, don't focus on the possibility you may get sick someday. That possibility always exists focusing on the negative will only increase the likelihood that you will experience it. Find comfort in the knowledge that you are surrounded by a family that understands and should you be faced with issues, will be able to support and provide guidance to help you. Pay attention, you have seen what anxiety and depression look like, if you feel you may be experiencing issues, go seek help. Think of it this way, you are armed with a lot of experience and knowledge and should you face any problems yourself, you will be in a far better position yourself to identify it, seek support and learn to cope with it.


Most importantly again however, do not assume it will happen to you, instead just take good care of yourself and do the things that keep you healthy everyday.


Hope this helps,


Kendra

What If...(Soap Box Rant)

What if I told you it really does get better?  


I know that can seem patronizing.  I've been there.  And sometimes, if I'm complacent enough, I can still get there.  But for the most part, life is better than I ever dared to hope.  


In passing I commented the other day, "I choose to see myself; not in memories of what I've lost, but instead in the things I dare to dream."  I spent so long being afraid to dream, afraid to try, knowing more often than not I would end up feeling failure and in embracing that I perpetuated the depression, the angst.  It was a curious moment when I realized I had to CHOOSE otherwise.  


Yes, I have a long list of diagnosis'.  Yes, I did/do require therapy in many forms to stay healthy, but that's it.  I am just staying healthy.  It's not a shame, it's not something I fear anymore or feel the need to hide.  I am simply CHOOSING to live the life that supports my desire to stay healthy and MENTALLY FIT. 


Maybe this is one of those soap box moments where I just feel the need to stand up and scream, it can be so much better;  or maybe this is just another wall coming down in hopes of revealing a piece of myself that has been so important in getting to where I am.  In any case, here it is;  Choose happy!  Choose to embrace hope and dream in every possibility!  Try not to read these words with spite or in doubt.  I understand all too well the ease at which we can embrace what feels impossible.  Just today, try something different.  Go for a walk.  Throw on your favourite CD.  Hit up a yoga class.  Invite a friend for coffee.  Just try something different, and if only for 1 minute of that you forget to be "lost", it's a minute to build off of! 

Hope

Sometimes if you open your eyes just wide enough;

you will allow a sliver of hope to slip in, 

planting itself eternally in your soul where it manifests a future, 

fantasized about with your entire being. 

Each morning I wipe the dreams from my night eyes and awake to this hope. 

It comes to me from every angle. 

Today in shades of orange as it threatens to hide itself it hues of grey for the duration of waking time. 

But I know it is there, 

not hidden, simply out of sight. 

I imagine it there lighting my future in its purity. 

Casting gentle shadows for my exploration,

embracing the possibilities that fill my soul; 

this morning as I opened my eyes to this vast sliver I call hope.