New Year, New Story

I have found there is a certain conflict in this process of blogging.  It feels as though I should always be writing from strength, speaking through successes and offering hope in my ability to live productively with Mental Illness.  It has been a challenge for me to allow myself to share the "down" times.  However, for anybody who lives with disease, any disease, the unquestionable truth is that there is indeed "down" time.  There are days that just don't go as planned, that no matter how hard we try and how many tools of coping we engage, it's just not a great day.  The success I have found comes in accepting those moments for what they are and living through them.

I remember when I first started to feel some alleviation from the symptoms of my original diagnosis of severe anxiety and depression,  I was petrified.  What if is comes back? I would feel a familiar twinge of panic or sadness and embrace it as though I was heading back to ground zero.  Over the years, I have learned to place that.  Accept that this is an illness I will live with for the rest of my life and embrace those moments as obstacles to overcome and new lessons to learn.

This all being said, I feel perhaps my decision to hide those moments from this blog is not only unnecessary but also limiting.  I know my success in living with this illness has come from overcoming the hard times, not only embracing the good times.  Moving forward, my resolution is to sit down in the hardest of moments as well, share the experience, allow myself to be revealed.

So there is my commitment to this blog for the new year.  Would love to hear about your resolutions?

I hope the Holiday Season brought love and happiness for everybody, and the New Year is full of promise and new adventure.  Much love to all, and thank you for your continued support.


  1. I know exactly what you mean about being afraid of symptoms returning. Living in fear of returning to such a low point. Even slight doubts that might have been overlooked before become signs that maybe the depression is returning.

    Thanks for sharing your story.

  2. Happy New Year, Kendra. I have resolutions, but I only share them with people in person. ;)
    I hope the new year treats you well.
    See you at the games.