10.4.12

What If...(Soap Box Rant)

What if I told you it really does get better?  


I know that can seem patronizing.  I've been there.  And sometimes, if I'm complacent enough, I can still get there.  But for the most part, life is better than I ever dared to hope.  


In passing I commented the other day, "I choose to see myself; not in memories of what I've lost, but instead in the things I dare to dream."  I spent so long being afraid to dream, afraid to try, knowing more often than not I would end up feeling failure and in embracing that I perpetuated the depression, the angst.  It was a curious moment when I realized I had to CHOOSE otherwise.  


Yes, I have a long list of diagnosis'.  Yes, I did/do require therapy in many forms to stay healthy, but that's it.  I am just staying healthy.  It's not a shame, it's not something I fear anymore or feel the need to hide.  I am simply CHOOSING to live the life that supports my desire to stay healthy and MENTALLY FIT. 


Maybe this is one of those soap box moments where I just feel the need to stand up and scream, it can be so much better;  or maybe this is just another wall coming down in hopes of revealing a piece of myself that has been so important in getting to where I am.  In any case, here it is;  Choose happy!  Choose to embrace hope and dream in every possibility!  Try not to read these words with spite or in doubt.  I understand all too well the ease at which we can embrace what feels impossible.  Just today, try something different.  Go for a walk.  Throw on your favourite CD.  Hit up a yoga class.  Invite a friend for coffee.  Just try something different, and if only for 1 minute of that you forget to be "lost", it's a minute to build off of! 



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